Hello lovely blog readers. It sure has been a while. What have you been up to since the last time we chatted?
I have been very busy. So much so that sitting down to read a magazine has been nearly impossible (my collection of monthly issues are piling up in a basket on my coffee table), let alone being able to sit down to hammer out a post or two.
Where to start?
Work has been going great. There has been a huge (to say the least) learning curve working in the Special Ed classroom. It’s been difficult, stressful, but at the same time – amazing. I’ve learned extreme patience, humility and I’m learning how to deal with the various day-to-day issues that may arise. I have some very wonderful people around me that I can talk to at any time, the most wonderful support system ever. The afternoons spent in the library have been filled with fun times. I’m working on a cool library game for the older kids who are currently in the process of learning the Dewey Decimal System, and I’m still teaching the littles about how the library works and what the rules are. At the end of the day I am able to hole myself away in my library, shut the door if I wish, and just breathe. I catch up library work and make lesson plans for the days to come…. it’s my little slice of heaven.
My personal life is busy. I make sure I fill it with productive things, things that I like to do and I now fill it with spending time with friends. My twenties were all about university – study, study, study. I shoved myself away blocking all contact with the outside world off, until it was all over. It was my decision and I don’t regret it one bit. Now that it’s done and over with (for now), I promised myself when I turned 30 last year that I would fill my free time with friends. It’s been great. I’ve watched hockey at a restaurant, went out for numerous birthday dinners and the biggest one of all – I GOT OUT OF MY INTROVERT SHELL! That was another promise I made to myself – to get out of this shell I built around me and meet new people. The last week of October a Twitter friend hosted a dinner party at a great restaurant and it was such a lovely evening. I’m so glad I went. He’s hoping to make it a monthly thing and I can’t wait for the next one! I also am filling my free time with trips to the nail salon, shopping and crafting.
While I’ve been busy with work and my personal life, I’ve also fallen ill a few times. If you follow me on Twitter, you know this. When I’m sick, I get whiney. Like a four-year-old. I hate being sick. I’ve had a cold, a severe bout with allergies, a horrible-horrible-horrible case of strep throat and most recently I found that I had a sinus infection that’s probably lagged since the cold I got rid of in September. I’m trying my best to keep myself healthy and it’s hard. When I’m stressed, I eat. I don’t work out. But at work I’m running up and down stairs all day long, so at least I have some form of exercise in the bag.
I’m also still struggling with the passing of my aunt. It’s been three months and still very difficult to deal with. I still hurt and I have yet to cry. I mean really cry. I don’t know what’s holding me back… I know it is me that’s holding all those emotions back. It’s like Khloe Kardashian said on a recent episode of “Keeping up with the Kardashians” (shut up, it’s my guilty pleasure) – “I’d rather laugh than cry.” That is very true. For the longest time I’ve been the strong one for everyone else when they’re in pain. I am the glue that holds it together and I rarely let it go. The last time I did that was in high school when the son of a close family friend passed away. I lost it, and man did I lose my shit. The next time after that was when I got the phone call from my parents that my grandpa (maternal) had passed away. They were at the hospital when it happened and I was at home. I couldn’t bring myself to see him on death’s door. I’m the type of person who likes to preserve the good memories and not have horrible images overshadow them. Her death is still very unreal for us. We’re still waiting for her to call us to see if we’d like company and we’re still expecting to see her over for Christmas Eve dinner. I still have to prepare myself for that disappointment. I know she’s gone, but I still need to prepare myself. God it hurts and I wish she didn’t have to go.
Just like everyone else I am trying to keep on keeping on. Maybe even Keeping up with the Kardashians. Who knows. Just keeping on.
And trying to be awesome while doing so.