Just a few weeks ago it was announced that after a fifteen year absence, the NHL would be returning to Winnipeg. While at first I was against it (for a few reasons), I’m starting to warm up to the idea (after that riot in Vancouver… I had a change of heart). I cannot afford tickets and well, I might have to wait a while. However, with the return of the NHL to Winnipeg there’s only one thing to do….
Become the next Carrie Underwood and Hilary Duff.
That’s right…. it is now my sole mission to start hanging around the arena and hook me a mega rich hockey player. Who needs to win the lottery when I can marry a fricken millionaire? Who cares if he might be missing a few teeth? That’s why dentures were invented.
There are perks to being married to a hockey player:
- A horking big engagement ring
- Free tickets for my family and friends
- A mansion
- A glam squad
- A chef
- A personal trainer
- A car bigger than I would need
- A closet full of designer shoes and handbags
- Fame and notoriety
- Hanging out with Hilary, Carrie and D.J. Tanner (er, Candace Cameron Bure)
Just like Hilary and Carrie, I don’t have to work. Hilary writes books and I haven’t heard anything new from Carrie. This is great! I just have to walk around town with my huge ring and look like I’m doing something important. However, now that hockey is back I think we need a Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s because that’s where you see the girls all the time.
So now that the NHL is back in town, I’m actually kind of excited. Soon enough my dreams will come true and I’ll finally become a rich trophy wife. Maybe I’ll even be on one of the “The Real Housewives…” series. The Real Housewives of Winnipeg….
I’ve already found the house, now it’s time to find the player. I guess it’s never too early to start picking out rings. Seven karats sounds about right. Go big, or go even bigger is my motto!