I thought I would take the time to sit down and pen you a letter. There’s been some things that have been on my mind and today while at the gym I saw something interesting. A news report said that your current breakup was a “record breakup”. Why, not sure because I wasn’t listening… just watching, and I can’t read lips.
You’ve dated Joe Jonas (2008), Taylor Lautner (2009), John Mayer (2009-10), Jake Gyllenhaal (2010), and most recent, Connor Kennedy. You’ve had a boyfriend every single year since 2008, since you were 19. And now you’re looking for your “special someone”.
GURL. YOU’RE ONLY 22! Why are you so hell-bent on finding your special someone?
Now, look. I’m the last person who should be giving relationship advice since I’ve never had a boyfriend, but since I’m older than you I think you should at least listen to what I have to say.
You’re 22. You’re still a baby. You’ve dated someone every single year since 2008; five guys in four years! Don’t you think you should slow it down a bit and just enjoy you’re twenties? Your net worth is also estimated around $165 million… enjoy your fortunes while they lasts! But then again when you break up you write songs and they become popular and the breakup songs make you money.
Don’t feel like you need to be with someone. Don’t give in to the pressure of people telling you that you need to settle down. Girlfriend you need to be single for a while, take time off from music, buy a hippy van and travel the country for a while. Write about things that make you happy instead of horrible men who take advantage of you.
I have had so much fun being single. I can do what I want, eat what I want, go where I want and buy what I want without explaining myself to anyone. Being single rocks… you should try it out sometime. Then you can write a song called “Single Ladies”. Oh wait, Beyoncé has one up on you. Maybe you can write “Single Ladies, Part II”.
Say no to boys for now and embrace your success. Alone.