I’m gifting you some advice

Well, it’s finally here. Today I turn 30. While my physical age may say one thing, my mental age is a whole different thing. I have always felt more mature/older than others, but I still feel very young. It’s all about your perspective and how you feel. Like I said in a previous blog entry, age is just a number.

Through out this journey I’ve also learned a lot. I grew up faster than I should have, I sacrificed my social life and some important life changing decisions to focus on school and helping out my parents… all which were my decisions and something that I do not regret.

So what exactly have I learned? Well, I’m going to share it with you. Just a little disclaimer…. there will be some cursing involved.

1. Fuck the haters. People are gonna hate, haters are gonna hate. No matter what you do, or what you say… they will always hate. Nothing you do will never be right in their eyes. They judge ever single move, step, you make and will judge you for the rest of their (and your) life. Continue doing what you want to do and completely forget about others. You will only have to answer to yourself (and a high power, if you believe) in the end and that’s all that matters.

2. Bitches will never leave high school. You may be 30, but some chicks will act like their still in high school. This is the one thing that I absolutely hate, and hate is a very strong word. They’ll still have their cliques and still chatter behind your back. These girls will also still think that they know what is best for you. My advice for them… move on. No one gives a shit anymore. High school doesn’t last forever.

3. Ignore the chatter. This includes points one and two. No only will the haters and the bitches chirp about you, but there’s other people that will talk about you. Bottom line is, ignore it all. I’ve got people chirping in my ear all the time and I just let it go in one ear and out the other. They don’t make decisions for how I live my life and nor do they influence it.

4. No regrets. Madonna said it best, “Absolutely no regrets” and that’s how I live my life. Everything I’ve done, every decision I’ve made, was made and done by me. And these said decisions were done for reasons I will not go into explanation for, they were what I thought was best for me. I don’t regret one single moment of it. If I made mistakes, I learned from them. That’s what life is all about… learning from your mistakes.

5. Be fiercely passionate. In life you have to be passionate. Passionate about something, something that you drive for. There’s a lot of things that I am passionate about and I’ve all worked hard for them. I work with a lot of kids, especially kids who lack direction, and I tell them you have to have something in life that you’re passionate about. Then it’s all cake from there, even if life throws shit at you.

6. Be fiercely protective/loyal. If you are my true friend, then you will know that I am both – fiercely protective and loyal. I will thrown down for my closest friends and most importantly, my family. If you cannot understand why I make certain decisions, then you’re not my friend.

7. Don’t explain yourself. You’re an adult, you shouldn’t have to explain everything you do to every Tom, Dick and Harry. I don’t have to, nor am I expected, to explain myself to my parents, I certainly don’t have to explain myself to my friends or anyone else. You’re the one who has to live with the decisions you make, so ultimately, it’s no ones business.

8. Talk to strangers. Now, I don’t mean going up to people at random and engaging in conversation, but when someone strikes up a conversation with you, don’t act weird. Not everyone is a pervert or murderer. I thought of this point the other day when I was in line at Starbucks. A lovely lady in front of me struck up a conversation about what my favourite Starbucks drink is, which turned into me recommending others for her to try in the future. It was a great ten minute conversation and I appreciated it.

9. Love deeply. And this point doesn’t necessarily mean loving a companion. I, in general, love deeply. I love my friends and my family. It ties in with point 6. Just love everything deeply and everything will look so beautiful. Love is huge and spreads like wildfire.

10. Don’t sweat the small shit. I still struggle with this one because I’ve always been a perfectionist and every little thing always mattered to me. So far it’s going good, but I still get anxiety when I don’t fret over certain things. Taking it day by day is helping the stress reduce immensely, but I’m still working on it.

11. Learn to say no. I was always a yes person, I could never say no. It was because I was afraid to disappoint people. I didn’t want to let anyone down. Saying yes screwed up a lot of things in my life, I almost suffered an extreme mental, and physical,  breakdown and I had a quarter-life century crisis (yes, it does exist). Which brings me to the next point…

12. You can’t do everything. Yup, I recently learned that. I’ve always loved to be the first one to help where it was needed. Did some people see it as brown-nosing? Sure, but I didn’t care. I’ve always been a hard worker and I just wanted to help. I wanted to do every damn thing… but now I know, I can’t. I’ve learned the word delegation and I’ve put it into motion. I just take on too much shit and get buried in it.

13. Shit happens. It certainly does and there’s nothing that can be done about it. It just, happens. You need to learn how to roll with the punches and take life day by day. It wouldn’t be called life if crap did not get thrown at you. You just have to send a big “F-U” to the wind.

14. Do things that you love. For me, that’s traveling. While I might not be a well seasoned world traveler, I just love traveling. I love getting away for a couple of days, hanging out with my family that lives out-of-town and just seeing my favorite places. When I’m in a car and there’s that flat prairie land to look at, I do my best thinking while looking at it. I sort my shit out, think of important things and most importantly,  I get to relax. I make sure that my bills get paid and then if I can afford travel, it happens. I do what I like because if I don’t, I’ll be miserable and no one should have to be miserable. Doing what you love is possible, you just have to make it happen.

15. Do something outside of your comfort level. For the first time in my adult life I went to a bar. And I hated it. Granted it was to see former Big Brother houseguests, it was still at a bar, I was still uncomfortable. But now I can say I went to a bar. This also goes back to point 8. I’m an extreme introvert and don’t like social situations, let alone talking to a stranger. DO IT!

Do you have any advice? What could you tell your younger self?


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